And That, is Why I'm Afraid of Needles
by AnyaLehnsherr
Summary: Erik injures himself badly, but resists going to the doctor. Charles must find a way to help him, and it turns out the help Erik needs is more than just physical.


It had been such a good day up until that point. Hank had outdone his old best time running laps around the mansion. Alex had hit every target, including ones smaller than he had ever worked with. Raven was working on hand to hand combat with Moira. It was nice having a female CIA agent to show her the ropes. Raven wasn't weak by any stretch, but her technique had been off. But she was a quick learner, and had really outdone herself today. Sean was flying without hesitation. Ok, he was still nervous when Erik was near him while standing on a ledge. But other than that he showed excellent confidence in his abilities.

Then came Erik's turn. He had been practicing his skill of levitating himself. Sean joked that he wanted to be the only one with that ability, but Erik just rolled his eyes and kept working. Charles warned him not to push himself too hard.

"Wasn't it you that said I should challenge myself?"

"Yes. I said to challenge yourself, not kill yourself."

"I know what I'm doing, Charles."

Oh, how wrong that statement had been. It would have been fine if Erik had just been practicing his levitation. But he was also trying to control so many things at one time. Then something distracted him. It wasn't anyone's fault. Moira didn't know he was training at the moment.

"Hey! You guys have to come see this!"

Erik fell. He landed so awkwardly. Charles ran over to his friend. Erik was lying on the ground trying to hide his pain. Upon inspection, Charles realized Erik was hurt worse than he would have suspected. He was bleeding from his head and from some terrible scrapes. He couldn't tell if he had broken anything, but he didn't like the sound of the thud Erik had made when he fell. Why had he been doing this over the gravel?

"Erik? Say something."

"I'm alright Charles. You worry too much." Charles could tell he was doing his best to mask his pain. He didn't understand why Erik was resisting his help. Erik usually resisted help, of course, but couldn't he tell he needed medical attention?

"Erik, you're not alright. But we're going to help you."

"I've been worse."

"That may be the case, but right now, we need to help you."

Hank had rushed over when he heard the commotion. "We should take him to the doctor! He might need stitches."

Charles thought that suggestion made sense, looking at the cuts on his friend's body. But Erik winced at that.

"No! No doctors, please! Please!"

"It's ok, Erik. We don't have to take you to the doctor, ok? I was...um... shall we say, accident prone as a child. My mother had one of the rooms in the house converted into a makeshift nurse's office. We'll take care of him there. Would you help me, Raven?"

Raven nodded. She knew where the room was. After all, it was her home too.

"Accident prone?"

"Raven, this isn't the time for that."

Charles picked Erik up to his feet and let him lean on him. He and Raven walked Erik to the nurse's room and laid him down on the table. Charles didn't understand Erik's reaction. Erik looked terrified upon entering the room.

"Everything's alright, Erik," Raven tried to be as comforting as she could. But for some reason her words seemed to bother Erik more.

"Ok, Erik. First we need to take care of this head wound."

Erik winced every time Charles touched him. Charles assumed it was just from the pain.

"Now, I'm going to need to take off your shirt. I have to examine your cuts."

Erik struggled at the first touch, but then helped Charles take his shirt off. Nothing could have prepared Charles and Raven for what they saw. It wasn't the fresh cuts that horrified them. Their eyes were drawn to the scars all over Erik's body. Then Charles remembered something from Erik's mind. He had seen Sebastian Shaw experimenting on him. He hadn't looked through Erik's mind for details. He hadn't wanted to. But now the details, at least some of them, were becoming clear as he looked at Erik's scars. It dawned on him that had to be why Erik hated doctors. It had to be why Erik was squirming at every touch, and why being lied down on a table by two impromptu "doctors" had to be terrifying for him.

"Erik, who did this to you?" Raven wasn't a doctor, but it was obvious these scars couldn't have all come from accidents. Most of them looked like surgical scars. Others looked like they came from being whipped or beaten. But one thing was sure: Erik had been through something truly terrible.

"Raven, leave it alone."

She decided she would try. She knew what it was like to have things you'd rather not talk about. But then she saw his arm. 214782. She had been too young to understand the War when it had been happening. But she had learned about it later. She knew what those digits meant.

"Charles," Raven said as she pointed to his arm, "he wasn't. He wasn't in..."

"Raven, not now. Erik, I'm just checking for broken ribs. Then I'll have to stitch up some of those cuts. Some of them can just be bandaged, but we'll have to stitch up most of them."

Erik still looked panicked. Charles tried to be as gentle as possible. He didn't really know why. He knew Erik's terror didn't come from his present pain. But it was the least he could do. He bandaged what wounds he could, but then he knew he had to give Erik stitches.

"Raven, get me the needle, please."

Seeing the needle made Erik shake.

"Bitte! Bitte, Herr Doktor! Stoppen Sie! Bitte stoppen Sie, Herr Doktor!"*****

Raven looked like she were going to burst into tears. Erik had become her friend. It was hard watching him suffer like this. It would be hard watching anyone suffer like this, but Erik? She had thought he had been so strong. He exuded a certain confidence. He was strong. But that didn't mean he wasn't broken.

Charles had to calm him down.

"Erik? Erik? It's me. It's Charles. You're alright. You're safe. You're here in the mansion."

Erik didn't look any less scared. Charles knew what he had to do. He didn't like going inside anyone's mind without permission, but he knew it would be necessary now. He reached inside Erik's mind. He found Erik's memory system. He suppressed the memories that were forcing themselves to the forefront of Erik's mind. It was hard for Charles to stay focused. He was horrified by the things he was seeing. But he had to keep working to help Erik. He found that memory of Erik's mother. He stopped himself. He couldn't use something from Erik's childhood right now. It would be hard enough as it was to get his mind out of his childhood. What other good memories did this poor man have? Charles couldn't believe what he saw. The second brightest corner of Erik's memory system, second only to the memory of his mother, was about Charles. It was the memory of their road trip to find other mutants. It was when they discovered they both loved chess. Charles brought that memory to the front of Erik's mind, hoping to drown out the other memories. And it worked. Charles saw Erik snap out of it. His face turned from one of pure terror to one of confusion.

"Erik? Erik are you alright? It's me. You're safe."

"What's going on?"

"You fell. I was just about to start stitching up your cuts."

Erik flinched at the sight of the needle, but he didn't flip out like before. He looked embarrassed.

"I'm sorry. I should have warned you. I don't like needles. Between the tattoo and what Schmidt did to me..."

"You don't have to explain yourself, Erik. I'm just glad you're ok now."

"Thanks to you."

"It was nothing, really."

Then Erik noticed Raven was in the room. His embarrassment went to a whole new level.

"I'm so sorry, Erik. I'm so sorry for what happened to you."

"I'm sorry you had to get to know me like this. I usually don't like to show people this."

"Erik, no more hiding. You tell me I shouldn't hide my blue form. You shouldn't hide who you are. You say I should be mutant and proud. Why don't you call yourself a survivor and proud."

"Probably for the same reason you're not in your blue form right now."

"Raven, Erik, please. Do you know how hard it is to stitch a wound when the person is moving?"

"Sorry Charles. You don't need me anymore, do you? I'll go back to training with Moira."

Raven didn't wait for an answer. She needed to clear her head. She hoped Erik would be alright. She thought he would be. She knew Charles was good at mending wounds, and not just physical ones.

"Charles"

"What did I just tell you about moving? I'll project into your mind. We can speak telepathically, ok?"

Erik nodded. Their conversation became mental.

"Thank you, Charles. I don't get like that often. Thanks for pulling me out of it."

"It was no problem, Erik. I couldn't bear to see a friend in such pain."

"I'm sorry about that."

"Erik, stop apologizing. You have to stop feeling embarrassed. None of this is your fault. It is the fault of those cruel, barbaric men, and theirs alone. You have friends now. You are safe now. I'm here for you. Whatever you need, because your needs are nothing to be ashamed of. You just have to let me in. You are safe with me."

***This line means "Please! Please, Doctor! Stop! Please stop, Doctor!" Please forgive me if the translation is bad. I don't speak German**.


End file.
